As I write this I am on vacation with Dave and our friends and collectively we have ZERO guilt that the kids are not with us. Can I say that again, ZERO. As a matter of fact, when I did the “exchange” with my in-laws I said, GOOD LUCK and sped away. ? All parents need a break and need other people to love on their kids. We are fortunate that my parents and Dave’s parents get that. I hear moms say that they would feel guilty if they left little Suzie overnight. Give me a break. These kids are going to dislike at times BOTH of us when they are teenagers and I will remind them that I felt no guilt when I left them!! ?
When we got married in 2003, unfortunately I didn’t really reflect on our marriage vows and had no realization how much they would come into play during our marriage. Through the years, they have become a mantra for us. We have never given up on our love. We put one another first. We trust one another. We have hopes and aspirations for one another. We firmly believe (and proven) in sickness and in health. We have agreed that in order for our relationship to work we put God first, one another second and our kids last.
Let me explain, if our relationship with God isn’t right, we are struggling. If we fought with one another and disagreed with one another in front of the kids, resented one another, our kids would be jacked up. Some of them are already proving they don’t need much help in that department. ?Putting our kids last doesn’t mean that they aren’t loved by us and that our love for them isn’t unconditional, it just means that OUR love for the Lord and one another is the foundation of our home.
I know people struggle in their relationships and relationships can’t be perfect all of the time, but couples need to take time for one another to remind them why they fell in love in the first place. Leaving your kids at home is a great place to start. Maybe you can’t get an overnight babysitter, but find someone to watch your kids and work on your marriage.
Sometimes our kids used to cry when we left them and Dave and I would joke that we weren’t leaving them with Jeffery Dahmer. Now when we leave them, they don’t even say good-bye. Maybe they realize how important this break time is for all of us!!