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OB Visit

imageI hate to tell you this very personal fact, but I haven’t been to the OB in 5 years. I was terrified of returning to the OB because of all the trauma I experienced after delivering Aubrey and Courtney. I know I could have chosen another doctor, but I just wanted to avoid the entire experience. When I delivered Aubrey and Courtney my OB was the first of many people who saved my life. She was a major player in recognizing my illness and informed my family after delivery the seriousness of my illness. If she didn’t make the decision to deliver the babies, all three of us would have been dead the next morning. That sentence still gives me chills. I am so thankful for her decision. I can only imagine how difficult it was for her.

The last time I saw her I was transported from Bryn Mawr Rehab. It was such a humbling experience. I felt so defeated. I was transported via a wheelchair accessible van and wheeled in to the OB office. At this point in my life I had such hatred in my heart. I was so bitter. Jesus was not at the forefront of my mind. All sense of pride was completely gone. I still felt so sick. I don’t remember the appointment. All I can remember is feeling so stinkin’ sorry for myself, there being a lot of tears, but truly not thankful for how far I had come. Unfortunately that thankfulness came much later and the understanding of the miracle became so clear to me.

On Friday, I returned to the OB who delivered my twins. This was a difficult step because of the emotion the overall experience still stirs up. As I sat in the waiting room, so many emotions came flooding back. This is where the journey started. When my name was called and I was reunited with the OB who delivered my sweet girls both of us were holding back tears. She informed me that after delivering the twins and spending the night at the hospital, she was leaving for Mexico the next morning. From the plane and from Mexico, she checked on my condition relentlessly. She is such a selfless and kind woman who truly makes her patients such a priority. Seeing her today felt so triumphant. Thanking the people who saved my life is such a gift. I may never have had this opportunity. Reuniting her with Baby A, Baby B, Dave and the rest of the family was such a blessing. I will forever be thankful for this confident doctor who used her best judgement. People come into our lives and leave such footprints on our hearts. I can’t imagine if I never had the chance to hold my twins or see Brynlee or Camryn again. The thought that my girls would only me know me through pictures and stories is heartbreaking. For some reason 2011 was not my time to leave this earth and that brings me on my knees today filled with adoration for God. One day I can’t wait to stand before Jesus, but I have so much left to do on Earth.

Jesus helps this mess!

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