The puzzle piece represents Autism. As a mom of child with Autism, I couldn’t think of a better symbol to represent Camryn. She is such a puzzle to all who know her. At times she confuses us. Things that she says sometimes baffles us. There are days that we are at a loss. Sometimes the most simplistic tasks are so complicated.
In retrospect, the past 13 years have been like a puzzle that at times has been unfathamable to us.
The second I delivered Camryn, I broke into pieces. Like the most perplexing puzzle we ever attempted to solve, Dave and I navigated our way through Postpartum Depression. I felt so empty. I questioned why I didn’t like my baby. Our lives were turned upside down. I hated myself because the thoughts that were flooding my diseased brain were incomprehensible to me. I watched like a deer in headlights as the world rotated in slow motion around me.
We had to live with my parents because I refused to care for Camryn; I refused to care for myself. Thankfully my family and friends helped me get the medical attention and therapy needed. They advocated for me when I couldn’t find my voice.
After four months of suffering, I climbed my way out of the darkness and fought to regain my independence and become the Mom to the baby I was so excited to meet during my pregnancy.
Almost as quickly as I recovered, our puzzle would break again. This time it was different. The puzzle we were presented with now had warriors ready to go to battle. This puzzle hit rock bottom and came out on top. This puzzle will never be fully be put back together. This puzzle though was and is worth every second. Despite Camryn being a puzzle, one thing is clear, Jesus chose us to be her parents. Parents who will stop at nothing to make this puzzle comprised of millions of pieces worth every second. She is the most  beautiful and meaningful puzzle. From the second I delivered, she was instrumental in joining her parents even closer together. Despite me once being broken, Camryn is the reason we are whole.

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4 Comments

  1. Alison on April 11, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Love this! 💕💕 Your journey has brought you exactly to where you are supposed to be.



  2. Terri on April 11, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    Love you.



  3. Kellyann Mitchell on April 12, 2018 at 5:58 am

    Love this Kristi!



  4. Bobbi Smisko on April 12, 2018 at 7:33 am

    You will help so many others through your openness and vulnerability. Bless you.



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