Look how sweet they look. Don’t be fooled and stay on guard at all times?

So dead serious, I called my Mom a few weeks ago to tell her about my tough parenting day.  First, Camryn threw up in the pool at the Y she attends with the Timothy School. Picturing the mass exodus out of the pool, reminded me of the scene in the movie Stand By Me where the kid gets sick during the pie eating contest. Cam couldn’t care less when she got home. Bless her heart! She matter of factually stated she threw up in the pool because she was laughing with Mckenzie and swallowed water. She has a slight history of throwing up in pools so my slight history of anxiety makes me a little neurotic when she is in any pool. On a serious note,  I felt so badly for her though and so badly for my local Y when the Hertzog Family is there.

Fast forward, one of my other girls has been walking a very fine line this summer. When did going into second graders think they were cool? They are SO not. Must I remind her that her Dad and I are the only cool people in the house. Hello!!! She agreed with a not kind word that a good girlfriend of hers used towards another good friend of hers and I literally wanted to crawl into a hole. Actually I wanted to throw her into the hole, but whatever, same thing. What happened to my nice kid? Why does she have to get older, sassier and MORE LIKE HER MOTHER!!!! I want my kid to stick up for others, not join in. Both girls involved have better character than they showed and her parents and I are working really hard behind the scenes, just like most parents are with teaching and modeling good character traits.

So, I asked my Mom if I could come home for the night, lay in her bed, watch movies and have my Dad kick me out to my old room when he was ready to go to bed.

Parenting is so hard. Disciplining is even harder. When we got home from the pool, she had to listen to my lecture. I then got really serious with her and said how the word she used or other any other mean words could be used to describe her sister and then we both started crying because that would be awful and I think she understood why it would be awful for any kid.

After she went to bed, the teacher in me was strategizing my next move with my seven-year old challenger. I may or may not have told Dave that I’ll give her cat away, or take the other kids to Hershey Park and get her a babysitter.

But, on a serious note we demand better. We should all demand better! We are raising her to be kind, be herself and to love the Lord and she dead serious told me that kind isn’t always cool. WHAT????? We have all judged other parents at times. Here we think we have a “good” family, we go to church, we do fun family things, we love Jesus, we have Christian values that we work hard at modeling and will continue to do so, but with that statement a piece of my heart was broken. What a horrible message she and other kids are subscribing to!

My promise is that I’m going to be relentless in working with her daily on changing this and am praying that she leads instead of follows. I told her that she will make a million mistakes before college, our love for her is unconditional, God’s love for her is even stronger, but OMG this may kill me! I know none of our kids are perfect, we are not perfect, but we need to keep disciplining and guiding them in the right direction.

Update— She is showing signs of returning to a somewhat normal child again. I am showing signs of being a much more patient mom. She got called a nice not word and stuck up for herself and told me about it later. It gave us another opportunity to discuss why we shouldn’t use unkind words and I hope she transfers the skill to help her be more of a leader.

In the meantime, I will continue to call my circle, vent to them all and go through this crazy parenting thing as a tribe. My circle of older moms laugh at my stories and say just you wait. My mom may or may not be patiently waiting for some paybacks.



  1. Janice on August 6, 2016 at 7:29 am

    Great jod Kristi! You took this difficult situation into a teaching moment. She will/has learn to be more kind from this.
    She’s only 7 and has a lot more lessons to learn. Most times she is strong, vibrant and loving. I think she has sas and a mature kindness in her.
    “Circle of older moms”???

  2. Jen on August 6, 2016 at 7:49 am

    I remember. Now that my kids are both adults their bad manners are on them. At least that’s what I tell myself. 🙂 You’re doing a bang up job, Kristi!

  3. Meredith Pileggi on August 6, 2016 at 9:04 am

    I love reading this blog. I hope I have enough patience and clarity to snag teachable moments when my brood becomes sassy! Keep fighting the good fight

  4. ruth sill on August 6, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Sass…just chuckling because my granddaughter is now using that on her mom…it looks so different when it’s not aimed at me…This too shall pass. Someday in the surprisingly near future, your girls will think you are absolute Genius!!!

  5. Stacey on August 6, 2016 at 11:12 am

    I hear your frustration Kristi! Ive been there before too… It’s heartbreaking & mind blowing… I jUst kept saying “where do you get this from?” And I’ve said to them “you don’t hear us talk like that in this house…. So why would you think that’s ok talk like that to anyone??” I did same… Took it as a teaching / learning lesson, made them understand how words can hurt & tried to make myself realize that they are only young & dont realize the impact (& sometimes the meaning) of what they say sometimes. But your right, the key is to not accept it & keep working on correcting it. Work in progress ?

  6. Lisa Waters on August 6, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    Kristi….I am sorry, I just had to giggle a little! Having gone through all these stages, including my one who threw up in pools, I can sympathize! A four of my boys have grown into strong, kind men. Keep modeling the behaviors and talking to them! You and your hubby are GREAT PARENTS and someday you will be telling someone how you raised four kind and caring women! ?????

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