Dave and I decided that after 4 years we were ready for Baby Number Two. I actually took my pregnancy test with my girlfriends and told Dave later that night. I was never really scared of Postpartum, but obviously aware that I was at risk of it happening again. We had decided to not live this time in fear and to turn it over to God. Postpartum felt so long ago and my bond with Camryn was amazing.
My doctors and I were ready just incase PPD were to happen again. As a team we decided I would start meds right after delivery. Dave and I were ready too. We had such faith that things would be different this time around.
I was so excited to get her room ready. I felt during my pregnancy that Dave and I were in battle mode. I pleaded with God for a do-over. At this point in our lives we had already dealt with PPD and were navigating the world with a child with Special Needs.
I was concerned that Brynlee would have Special Needs too and did question my ability to handle two children with Special Needs. At this point with Camryn we were still dealing with Genetics and trying to determine what exactly her diagnosis was. In my circle of mom friends with kids who have a disability some do have multiple children with Special Needs. They do it and I admire them so much.
We decided to find out the sex of the baby and schedule the C-Section. Again, as a team we didn’t want any surprises. A little ironic that we had no clue what the future would hold…
The second I delivered Brynlee I was IN LOVE!! I felt it. I understood what some Moms feel after they have a baby. When I was dealing with PPD, I didn’t believe that Moms instantly fell in love with their new baby, but I just felt this overwhelming sense of bonding, peace and pure joy.
Brynlee was my do-over. I would barely let anyone hold her. I slept with her every night. When we moved her to her crib, we had a bed in her room too and Dave would “yell” at me because he knew I was still not putting her in her crib.
With Brynlee, God gave me the best baby in the world. She rarely cried, she slept through the night so early and I was euphorically happy.
I won!! I was so thankful for this second chance. I am proof that you can have another baby after PPD. With preparing myself ahead of time, I knew regardless that I would not be blindsided by the awful reality of what could happen.
Brynlee continues to bring us pure joy. She is a fun, loving, kind and super advocate for her big sister, and superb director of her little sisters and her parents.