Dave and I aren’t hooked to the Olympics, but do catch parts of it. I love news updates about Team USA and FB updates about what is happening in Rio. But you know why we aren’t hooked? It makes us feel horrible about ourselves. Here are the some of the many reasons…
- We aren’t that good at anything. We never have been and never will be.
- We both get tired just watching. For me it is a total snooze fest with the exception of a few events.
- We have a pretty crappy body image after watching these 20 something studs with perfect bodies dominate their events.
- We are lazy. We all know that for me to run an armed person must be chasing me.
- Every event makes us hungry because of how hard these athletes are working and you know that some are on such strict diets until after the competition. I just want to give them all cheesesteaks.
- The 41 year old gymnast. Need I say more?
- We don’t even understand some of the sports and how people even get involved in playing them and how they are Olympic events… Badminton, Sailing, Handball, Trampoline, the Gymnastics thing where they swing around the ribbons. It almost makes me feel badly for those girls. Ladies, you didn’t make the team, but here are some ribbons to dance with.
- We played volleyball in the pool last week and we were so sore the next day that we know we are out of shape losers.
- We are getting older and this is a constant reminder of this fact.
- Our kids start to get these visions that they will one day get to the Olympics and it just makes us feel poor and pressure to sign them up for lots of stuff. Sorry girls you better be good at one thing and run with it.
- The only medals I have ever received weren’t even medals. They were patches on my Girl Scout vest. Dave hasn’t received any medals except braces.
- I end up trying gymnastics moves with my kids and their laughter makes me want to put them all up for adoption.
I can’t wait until we return to regularly scheduled programming so our self esteem returns to normal. Go USA, but stop with this craziness.