As I slowly opened my eyes, I kept blinking to help them adjust. Everything was blurry and I felt as if I were wrapped in a very deep fog. I tried to move my head, but it was impossibly heavy. I tried to lift my arms, but they felt like bricks. I felt a heaviness that was weighing me down like an anchor.
I tried my best to determine where I was. I knew I was stuck, but wasn’t sure what was holding me down. My ears began to adjust to some of the noises that were surrounding me. I heard a sucking sound and what followed sounded like heart beats. I detected beeping, high pitched beeping coming from every direction. Where was I?
It was dark, yet oddly fluorescent. Fluorescent enough for me to observe that I was surrounded by machines. By slightly turning my head I saw what looked like partly opened sliding glass doors covered with semitransparent curtains that didn’t touch the floor allowing for a gap that gave view to the occasional feet walking by. The opening was wide enough to hear the slight murmuring of voices. Where was I?
The transparency of the curtains gave me a glimpse of what looked like cubicles. Why was I sleeping in an office? Why would someone bring me to an office to sleep?
The beeps and humming continued and eventually lulled me to sleep. I opened my eyes again and was filled with panic. After what seemed like a long delay, a pretty 20 something year old was telling me that everything was okay and that I was agitated and that I was going to be okay.
I tried to talk, but she gently told me I couldn’t. She told me Dave would be back soon, that he never usually left, but he just went to quickly get a shower. Left where? How did she know Dave? Tears dripped down my face and I stared at her in fear, a fear that filled me with a feeling that I was in grave danger.
I could tell through her body language that she was hurting for me. She wanted Dave to return as desperately as I did. She told me she would call him and quickly left me alone. I felt so isolated and so afraid. Who was she? Where was I?
She returned and sat with me and together we listened to the beeping and the whistling. She told me a little about her life, but never mentioned anything about me. Where was I? Who was she?
Finally a familiar face rushed into the room. Dave stormed in with tears in his eyes and a look of such joy. Joy? Why did he look so happy?
He sat with me, held my hand and told me everything was going to be okay as I fell back asleep still wondering where I was, but not able to muster the energy to begin putting any of the pieces of the puzzle together.
It would take months to put the puzzle together, the worst months of my life.